Sometimes you may notice that a fellow student does not seem to be doing well, is behaving unusually, or is going through a difficult period. You do not have to deal with these concerns alone, and you do not have to take responsibility for someone else’s problems.
On this page, you will find guidance and practical tips on how you can act as a peer support when you are worried about someone.
When a friend does not seem to be doing well
Changes in behaviour can be a sign that someone needs help – for example, withdrawing from social situations, frequent absences, or a noticeable change in mood. However, unusual or distinctive behaviour can simply be part of who someone is and is not necessarily a cause for concern. What matters are significant changes compared to how the person has usually behaved.
How you can help
1. Bring up your concern directly and with care. Share what you have noticed – do not interpret or speculate.
- “I’ve noticed that you often seem distant. Is everything OK?”
- Avoid making assumptions: do not diagnose or label (“That person is clearly depressed”).
2. Encourage them to seek help. Let them know that seeking help is a wise and completely normal decision. For example, you can say:
- “A lot of people have found it helpful to see a study psychologist – would you like to get in touch with one?”
- “FSHS services are available for students – could they be of help in this situation?”
3. Offer practical support
- Offer to look up contact details or to make the first contact together.
- Offer to accompany your friend to get help.
4. Remember your role. You are first and foremost a fellow student. Listening and pointing someone in the right direction is often enough – and it is a valuable thing to do. You can also say:
- “I’m here for you as a friend/fellow student, but professional support would help you most from here on.”
If you are worried about a fellow student’s situation and it weighs on your mind, you can discuss the matter with a member of staff (a teacher or your PSP counsellor, for example). However, the matter cannot be looked into further without the consent of the person concerned. Remember to look after your own wellbeing as well – do not hesitate to seek support for yourself if you need it.
When a friend talks about self-harm
If you are concerned that a fellow student may be having thoughts of self-harm, ask them about it directly. Asking about suicidal thoughts is not dangerous – it can help your friend get the support they need.
How you can help
- Try to stay calm – breathe slowly and deeply.
- Listen and show that you care.
- Suggest that you call an emergency service together – your friend can make the call themselves, or you can call on their behalf with their permission.
- Let them know that help is available and that people want to help.
- Debrief as soon as possible – talk to a member of teaching staff, a fellow student or a support service.
You do not need to be able to assess how serious the situation is. It is enough to guide your friend towards help.
In an emergency, always call 112.
Threatening or violent situations
Threatening behaviour can take place when a fellow student threatens their own or others’ safety during teaching, at free-time events, in other shared spaces including social media or similar.
If a fellow student or another person behaves in a threatening or violent way, take the following steps:
- Call 112 as soon as possible – the emergency centre will assess the severity of the situation.
- Try to stay calm – keep your hands visible and move slowly.
- If possible, try to de-escalate the situation – show that you are listening and speak calmly. However, calling for help is always the priority.
- If necessary, move to the nearest safe space if the threat is directed at you and the person does not calm down.
- Notify Facility Services and teaching staff as soon as possible.
Call 112 even if you are unsure how serious the situation is.
After the threatening or violent situation
Threatening situations are traumatic for most people. Make sure to seek support for yourself afterwards:
- Talk to your fellow students.
- Contact the Crisis Centre, FSHS or a campus chaplain.
Support services and contact details
| Contact | How can they help? |
|---|---|
| Emergency number 112 | Acute threats and emergencies |
| Emergency services | When you suspect a friend needs immediate help |
| Campus chaplains | Confidential conversation support for all members of the university community |
| FSHS | Health and mental health services for students (opens in a new tab) |
| Crisis centre | Counselling and support in various life crises (opens in a new tab) |